Sunday, February 17, 2013

So Cool, Don't You Think?

So Cool, Don't You Think?:
My friends cannot stop pointing out how I use the phrase “I’m so cool” as sparingly as toddlers say “mum”, “boo” and gurgle with a spray of spit. But there are times when I wish I’d have not used those three words together, ever. I think it’s because the phrase in question is not something like a ma behen ki gaali which will sound funny no matter how many times you say it. (I think I’ve laughed harder at jokes that end with a punch line which has something like a “bhenc**d*” hidden somewhere.)

The phrase “I’m so cool”, I now realize, is like the example of an ice cream in the Theory of Diminishing Marginal Utility. For those of you who haven’t studied Economics, it’s like an “I love you”. Y’know, how the fuzzy effect of these three words goes away if pronounced too often.

There were two things that happened last week which made me feel like I should’ve saved “I’m so cool” for. Before you read on, I should warn you that I’m really bad at humble-bragging. Oh wait, who am I even saying that to, really? I am pretty much seventy-five percent of this blog’s audience on my own. So here goes a diary entry for why I am so grateful to dada-dadi, mummy-daddy and all well wishers for their aashirwad and pyaar that made the past week so important.

Main ek din Public Speaker banoonga!

There have always been only two types of situations in which I’ve not felt stage fright. One, when I’ve been a part of a skit or a theatre performance. And two, when I’ve practiced dry humping the lectern and the mic during show rehearsals with my peeps in school.

Public speaking was something that always made me tremble with fear. It started when my class teacher in the twelfth grade pushed me into joining the Debating Society in school. I remember learning all the words of my debate by heart, because I knew that the words would make no sense to me when I’d be repeating them on stage. Fumbling on just one word would make me forget all that I was talking about. Looking at a few hundred mortals staring at me, standing right under the spotlight, did not make me feel like God. It was something I believed that could make me take a dump in my pants if I ever tried it again. Project presentations in college were not easy to deliver, either. Such was life until about a month back.

A few days ago, I wrote a letter to an official at the Institute of Company Secretaries of India, requesting him to let me conduct a few training sessions for students of the CS professional course. My CV and a list of topics on which I wished to impart training were neatly enclosed. I don’t really know what made me take such a step. Maybe it was the idea that my request will never be accepted. But, my phone rang a week later and I was asked to conduct a session on Leadership Skills and Motivation.

I was extremely nervous before the session. The podium has never looked anything like a shield to me on the public speaking war front; and deciding on what kind of a “trainer” you’re going to be for people to take you seriously as well as have fun is pretty darn nerve-wrecking. But much to my surprise, the session was not just fun for both, the participants and me, but also, I went on to speak for four hours even though I was scheduled to speak for three.

Two days back, I took another session, of a group of about thirty students, on Web Designing and Internet Marketing. I don’t know what made the fear go away. Maybe I’ve grown up. Or maybe, the fact that I decided to give it a shot helped me sail through. The chutney icing on the dhokla cake is that the organizers really liked my sessions and I am promised more such programs in the future.

It feels good to have conquered a fear. Also, it feels great to receive messages and calls from participants telling me that they enjoyed the programs and would love to participate in more such events.

This deserves an “I’m so cool”, don’t you think? :D

Arrey, Web Designer bhi bann gaya?

The number of students pursuing CA in the country is way more than all the students of IIPM, Amity and Chaudhary Charan Singh University combined. And going by the results of the ICAI every six months, it won’t be surprising if all of these students might just wake up frustrated one day and boycott the course for the lack of hot girls, or the poor pass percentage, or both. Telling them that engineers have a hard time getting over Elisha Cuthbert, and any other female species in their campus who has no knuckle hair, offers no solace. What is more irksome to them is the fact that all engineering students eventually have a degree in one hand and aching masturbatory nerves in another. CA students are never sure about if they’ll ever turn out victorious in this game of 40 pass, but 49 fail. Hell, they don’t even have the time to please themselves in the bathroom.

To bring this clan of frustrated souls some relief, my friend Vinit and I decided to build a website which would offer all relevant resources and guidance required to crack professional courses like CA, CS, CMA, CFA and CPA. Complete with all relevant details about the courses, relevant forms, mock test papers, suggested answers, etc., Career in Commerce ( took about a month of dedicated hard work to build. The initial response from friends, family and fellow students has been great and we hope we’ll be able to keep the project going.

The intention of creating such a site was to give back to these professional courses in some way. Even though our work isn’t something to be too proud of, we’re happy that we could contribute in this little way.

I don’t know if I’ll pass in the CMA result which is going to come out in the next five days. Nor do I know how many attempts it’ll take me to clear my CA finals once I sit for them for the first time in November 2013. But, if our little work provides much needed guidance to less privileged commerce students in even one corner of the country, we’ll think that it was a job well done.

I hope you will support us in our cause by giving us your valuable feedback on the website. Your contributions in the form of motivating or inspirational articles, as well as help in spreading word about this free service for students’ benefit will be hugely appreciated.

Here’s a chance for all of us to say that we’re so cool, don’t you think? :)


  1. @@@@@!!
    So proud of u...thats ol i wanna say!!
    I wish u perform n excel in the upcoming results n exams..the way u just did few days bck!!
    lucky to have a SUPER COOL BRO ^-^

  2. And I just read about you being the youngest in the country to clear all those exams in first attempt at just 23..wowww!!!

    for this post @@@

    1. also I forgot to add You ARE COOL !!!

    2. Arrey, don't make me climb the gram plant.

  3. I don't get it ! Why is there a picture of you with this girl on this post? Oh because your t-shirt says "cool"...oh it. Never mind.


If you had 5 Jalebis, how many would you give me for writing this post?

None = You don't deserve any >:O
@ = Soggy and stale! :(
@@ = Stale! :|
@@@ = I'll need a samosa to digest this with! :P
@@@@ = Sweet and Crisp! :)
@@@@@ = I'm opening you a Halwai Shop! :D