Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Cusp of Bhaiya and Uncle

I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle. There’s no black or white here, it’s clearly a shade of grey. To give you a fair idea, if the title of this post was a game of Hangman and I knew the first two letters of the second word were C and U, I would still wait for “cusp” to hit me than settle for the word that rhymes with hunt. It doesn’t take away from the fact that I still find the C word funny. There’s a moral dilemma. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle.

I realize how male pattern baldness has come into my life like sleep; slowly at first and then all of a sudden. But I still think that it would be cool if I could rock a Mohawk. I continue to spend a while preening myself in the mirror, but the time allocated to checking out the side body profile to identify signs of a paunch is steadily increasing. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle.

I dress up in perfect fit suits, not because Barney Stinson rocked that style in my favorite sitcom from a few years ago and Ted Mosby is a perennial moron, but because looking sharp appeals more to me than wearing a football jersey. However, the dilemma of whether I am mature enough to sport the lapel widths of Harvey Specter, or if Mike Ross’ slim tie would suit my age better is still a legit thing in my head. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle.

Reading The Economic Times has become part of my daily routine. I no longer force myself through the ordeal in the hope of performing better at the next job interview, but because the bulls and the bears seem more interesting than the birds and the bees. To the true fan of John Green, though, the connection with The Fault in our Stars in the preceding para, will clearly disclose my love for young adult fiction. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle.

I’m no longer taking exams, attending classes nor doing other things that students ought to. Instead, I work at an office ten hours a day, six days a week, knowing well enough that I’m an earning member of the family. But if you ask me, I’m not really, in the known sense of the word, “settled”. There’s money enough to afford frequent Khan Market lunches with friends, but not enough to support a family of four. I still believe in Hum Do Humaare Do. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle.

There have been times when kids on the road call me uncle, and I’m all like: “Uncle hoga tera baap!” But I can’t get myself to say that out loud to the lad. I’m mostly confused whether to address someone in his late thirties as uncle or bhaiya. And there are times when I unintentionally address those below the age of ten as “bete”. That is hitting the foot on the axe. I translate Hindi idioms to English for subtle humor. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle.

I realize I’m not complaining about being on the cusp, but about slowly slipping to the other side. I could blame my desk job for it or the fact that ageing shows some physical signs. I still keep faith in the adage that men are like wine, and I move on. After all, the only one blessed to be called bhaiya for life is the beloved gol-gappe wala. On the other hand, he gets unlimited supply of gol-gappas. I think it’s a fair trade off. I’m on the cusp of bhaiya and uncle, and happily so.

Image Source: downloadzing.blogspot.com

25 comments:

  1. New favourite post! :) :D So much Sarthak, here! And sachayi, bhayi :p

    @@@@@@@@@@ and as many jalebis as you want! :*)

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    Replies
    1. Haha. Breezy made me feel like Breeze sabun. >_<

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    2. Now all the soap jingles are playing in my head.
      1. Nima Rose Nima Rose, roz roz Nima Rose.
      2. Saundarya Sabun Nirma. Saundarya Sabun Nirma.

      Delete
  2. Real life observations captured so beautifully ! All time peasure to read.

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  3. Aww...you were always sexy sarthakji,but like everything you'll take age in your stride as well.
    That tou already have,i can see.
    Hmm..and trust me,you're one of those people who'll look better as an uncle & best as a sugar daddy!
    And while you'll remain bhaiya always for your sistar,believe that handsome is what handsome does,whether uncle or bhaiya.

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    Replies
    1. Ohoho! So much flattery :D
      This Anonymous person has made me so happy today :D

      Delete
  4. hahahahaha reading your posts make my day.
    Love it!

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  5. Is your hair loss genetic or a price you are paying for your stressful job?
    Do you get time to exercise and is your life too hectic?
    Do you enjoy your work or long for bhaiya days?
    Is there any fun in having grown up?

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    Replies
    1. You sound like such a Telebrands advert. I kept waiting for you to reveal the ultimate product that would solve all those problems. Like, an Olay for men. But sigh.

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  6. I had thought of writing about this on my next birthday..
    Good I got some ideas now!
    @@@@@

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    Replies
    1. Do share when you write it. I must borrow some ideas from your blog too :D

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  7. Whattay giggle-inducing post! 'I translate Hindi idioms to english for subtle humour.' That part made me laugh! XD
    But you usually don't. Translate idioms, I mean. What I'm trying to say is that you're not on that cusp, not yet. The message this post conveys - of embracing age - is great. But you're - what? Twenty-something? That's too soon to be thinking on those lines, in my opinion. A receding hairline does not an uncle make, Sarthak bhaiya. ;)
    Gorge yourself on jalebis, and forget about the paunch!
    @@@@@

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    Replies
    1. T-Bubbly! I'm so glad you found the humor in it. I thought it kind of went waste.
      But yay! Also, I'm like the evergreen Dev Anand, yo. Or, not really. No!

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  8. nice post :) well i believe women are like wine !!! but it's all at the individual capacity

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  9. Looks are superficial,and accountant means making pots of money.
    Bribe those kids to call you bhaiya for ever,and write CA before your name to lure girls.
    Let your profession be your calling card.

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  10. nice idea to allure girls ;)

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    Replies
    1. Is it really? Hum toh bas ainwayi kuchh bhi likh dete hain!

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  11. This is like the best blog i have ever read. Really an awesome job. And ya not to forget the rply given for hair loss Problem was best. From where do u get dese ideas. Hats off to u

    ReplyDelete

If you had 5 Jalebis, how many would you give me for writing this post?

None = You don't deserve any >:O
@ = Soggy and stale! :(
@@ = Stale! :|
@@@ = I'll need a samosa to digest this with! :P
@@@@ = Sweet and Crisp! :)
@@@@@ = I'm opening you a Halwai Shop! :D