Saturday, January 17, 2015

Food Fuss Fluff

From flying morsels of rotis like airplanes and making them land into my mouth to packing my lunchbox for work every day, my mother has come a long way in raising me to be a strong kid. She probably knows more about my food habits than I do myself. But given the number of times I get falsely accused of not having my greens, the need of the hour is a written code for my dietary expectations. I plan to put this up in the kitchen as a Ready Reckoner for Mummy-Pie and update it on a regular basis. I hope she takes it with a pinch of salt. Swaadanusaar.

#1: Bhindi is a green vegetable!

#2: Kuchh bhi (n.): A valid answer to the question “kya banaun khaane mein” that implies by default the exclusion of lauki-tinda-tori and karela from all possible food options.

#3: “Apni biwi jab banaayegi, tab toh chup chaap kha loge” is not a good enough response to “Yaar, kya! Aapko pata hai main ghiya nahi khaata!”

#4: Neither is “Main toh tab bhi khaana khud bana ke khilaati hoon. Shaadi ke baad tumhari biwi khaana banaaye na banaaye, uski koi guarantee bhi nahi hai.”

#5: Baingan is grown for making bharta and not aaloo-baingan.

#6: Palak Paneer is awesome. Only Palak is not.

#7: “Dal” or “Chhole” are completely acceptable answers to “Kaunsi sabzi khaaoge?”

#8: Dal = Makhni > Yellow Moong > Channa > Arhar > Green Moong

#9: Sunday lunch = Rajma Chawal

#10: Parmal falls in the same category as lauki-tinda-tori.

#11: White Chhole > Black Channe

#12: Home-made Dessert = Chilled Kheer > Piping Hot Halwa

#13: I eat the less tasty sabzi first. You should see it when I put it on my plate. You always tend to notice when there’s none left on my plate.

#14: Aaloo ka Parantha > Paneer ka Parantha > Gobhi ka Parantha > Mooli ka Parantha.

#15: Aaloo Gobhi is nice, Aaloo Beans is not.

#16: Don’t mash all the lauki-tinda-tori or petha into the Bhaaji and serve it as Pav Bhaaji.

#17: Idli and Dosa are yum. Upma is okay only.

#18: No! Don’t put any ghee on my roti! Noooooo!

#19: Parantha for breakfast. Phulka for lunch and dinner. Rice for any time of the day.

#20: Kadhi Chawal, Sambhar Chawal, Rajma Chawal, Dal Chawal, Chhole Chawal, Channe Chawal. Awesome Chawal.

#21: Fruits = Mango > Watermelon > Orange > Grapes > Peach > Banana > Pear > Apple

#22: The karela and methi are kadva. I have no idea why papa says they aren’t at all!

#23: Mumma! Doodh mein thodi coffee daal do.

#24: Gala kharaab mein adrak wali chai!

#25: Salad = Cucumber > Tomato > Onion > Carrot

#26: The food you make is so tasty because of all the love you put in.

#27: I am never psyched at the idea of haldi wala doodh.

#28: Chyawanprash is both tasty and disgusting in a way that I don’t hate it, but I don’t feel like having it on my own either.

#29: I keep forgetting to have water the whole day! Please keep reminding me to have a glassful till I fall into the habit. Thanks :)

#30: The Shahi Paneer you make is world-best!

#31: Do not fry the pakode in front of me. I will eat them before they go into the kadhi. Same goes for kofte.

#32: What is this thing about papa not being able to resist malaai? It’s disgusting. Hate it when little shreds of it come into my mouth even after chhanofying the whole glass of milk twice.

#33: Attempting to make dhokla at home never ends well.

#34: If I ever help you peel matar, expect me to eat a pea from each pod.

#35: You are an awesome cook. Nani is even better!

P.S. I know you always take the last one as a compliment as long as it’s not Dadi who I compare you with. Muhuhahaha!

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  1. #1 I absolutely loved what you wrote! <3
    #2 My mom needs to read this too.
    #3 She especially needs to read point no. 1, 2, 17, 27, 29, 33 and 35! I can totally relate with the bhindi being a green vegetable part. :')
    #4 I'm opening you a Halwai Shop once I grow up! @@@@@ :D

    1. Thanks, Hasanthi! :D
      I thought no one other than my best friend and I would relate to the homemade dhokla thing!

  2. Bhindi. Palak Paneer. Shahi Paneer. Basically, paneer in any form. Same goes for Chawal. <3
    Dammit, I'm drooling.
    The part about the Karela not being kadwa: it is always a poorly thought-out ploy to make me eat it! I never fall for it. Never.
    But, ugh, you like Baingan ka Bharta?! For me that falls in the lauki-tinda-tori category.
    Number 13 used to happen when I was much younger. Now she doesn't fuss much about my consumption of veggies. (Thank heavens!)

    Love this post! (How can I not? It's about food!)
    Have some Chilled Kheer this time! :)

    P.S.: Why does your title say 'Fluff'? o.O

    1. I love baingan ka bharta. It has a very Punjabi flavor, mainly because of the tomato base. And chopped onions in the paste. It's like making baingan in salsa sauce!

      Fluff because I thought this post, like most others, was quite pointless. I had written it but wasn't putting it up because I found it really lame. But aur kuchh tha nahi daalne ko toh daal diya.

  3. Haha..I felt like some echoed all my food thoughts here except karela and methi that I grown up liking [with cream and paneer, garlic fried]

    Too well expressed. I will forward this to my mom and she will say- I always knew these things about you :P

    BTW, no mention to missi roti, pakode chai on rainy day, ice lollies in fridge? :)

    1. We had to have pakode today! Mummy promised in the morning. But we guys came back so late from work ke reh gaye. Must have pakode tomorrow! I love the thinly sliced aaloo ke pakode :D

  4. You should get a beewee to test if the points she mentions are true.

    1. Yeah. Must also have 10 cans of Coke everyday for 6 months to see if I'll get fat(ter).

  5. I love palak paneer with makki ki roti. Hate bharta and shalgum.
    Hate when carrots are cooked and become tender. Carrots have to be eiten either raw or in the form of delectable ghee-laden halwa. And i love mooli ke paranthe more than paneer ke. Anything with aloo is acceptable.
    And my understanding mom makes dal makhni with cashew paste that makes it ambrosiac. But more importantly,she is smart enough to make an unpalatable yet healthy sookhi sabzi with that that helps us overlook the sad veggies & concentrate on makhni instead.
    I am kind of unable to understand if our life spans are predetermined or enjoying a rich meal with ghee regularly can cut it short. After all,our birth charts have already been etched,no?
    So,which cuisine is your fav? Chinese,thai,italian or gujarati?

    1. My mum does the same thing by cooking some tinda type thing with a dal makhni dish. I have the whole sabzi pehle and ensure that it leaves a mark big enough to show that I did not just have the tasty wali sabzi.

      Favorite cuisine toh bhayi undoubtedly Punjabi. And, Cheese Burst Pizza ko special mention. Hate the Paneer Tikka pizza though. Bleh.

  6. haha..this is sooo relatable..!!awesome article..

  7. Write something about your parents.Quirks that are particular to them.How you see them.Would that be too personal?

    1. Haan! Parents pe mat ja!

      I used to think how I would write a post called How I Met My Mother. But haven't ever gathered the focus to do it. Any post about one's mother deserves the best. I guess I'm not ready for such challenging topics already. Aise rula dene wala type hona chahiye.

  8. @@@@
    worth many many many jalebis!!!
    can totally relate to this especially the rajma chawal point!! :)

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If you had 5 Jalebis, how many would you give me for writing this post?

None = You don't deserve any >:O
@ = Soggy and stale! :(
@@ = Stale! :|
@@@ = I'll need a samosa to digest this with! :P
@@@@ = Sweet and Crisp! :)
@@@@@ = I'm opening you a Halwai Shop! :D