Thursday, April 9, 2015

Date a Man who is Balding

Date a man who is balding. Date a man who has felt the pain of losing something special. Date him for he knows that he must care for what he has lest it slips out of his pores some day. Date him because he knows that even when you try to hold on to things too tight, they dwindle if they are not meant to stay. Date him for his maturity that shows not just in his receding hairline, but also in his acceptance of his loss with grace.

I know you’d want to date a man who reads; who knows his Shakespeare’s by heart and debates against the cultural disapproval of Rushdie till date. He’ll sip on a glass of wine and pretend to be artsy, but date him if he is balding. Date him if he will not just discuss, but actually end up looking like a Shakespeare or a Rushdie some day. Date him because he will know not just beauty in secularism as evidenced in Padma Lakshmi, but will also be a Salman through the way.

I know you’d want to date a man who sings; whose voice will charm your heart away. He’ll playback for a Ranbir or a Ranveer and make ladies swoon of all age. He’ll Sa Re Ga your Ma-Pa with a song in praise of the Lord, and express his love for you in front of friends at a Karaoke. But date him if he is balding. Date him because the lights at a club shine brighter on a bald pate. Date him because Himesh’s career plummeted with a hair transplant and Mohit Chauhan still rules the air waves.

I know you’d want to date a guy who is funny; whose jokes will crack you up on a gloomy day. He will know stand up, sarcasm and word play. But date him if he is balding. Date him because he’ll know how to play the charm of self-deprecation with a smile and shoot jokes from the top of his head. He’ll know that a pun falls flat if you follow it up with a “pun intended”, and he may have left it hanging in the previous sentence to be picked up by his bae.

Date a man who is balding; whose friends call him Akshaye Khanna or Anupam Kher. Date him for he will lovingly run his fingers through your hair than preen his own even on your tenth date. Date him because he doesn’t hide, he doesn’t lie; he just accepts beauty in its own way. And if you ever wish yourself to be the date of a Greek God, don’t forget that he has a halo at the end of his pate.


Image Source: en.wikipedia.org

23 comments:

  1. @@@@@@ = pls open a halwai shop trust me it'll be so sweet :P ^.^ arggh this post makes me want to date a balding man ....I'd given up dating men after meeting many a jerk around my university:p this gives me faith who knows their might be a bald man waiting for me ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stella! You don't really have an Indian name and it makes me wonder if you're not a native of this place, do you understand all the Indian references? So curious.

      Also, thank you for ze jalebis :D

      Delete
    2. I watch a lot of Bollywood flicks call it a guilty pleasure if you will so yes I'm familiar with your references ...;)

      Delete
  2. Date a bald guy who writes absolute hilarious blogs inculcated with sensitivity, best of analogies and creativity. Take a bow, sarthak!!! Plain simple Awesomeness! Ps- how could you miss out Vin Diesel right after fast7 ! I see rock right on top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Robin Sharma *_*

      Delete
  3. Bhai, rula diya!! :')

    @@@@@ + @

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na, mat ro, mere bhai. Ganjon ke sir be der hai, andher nahi!

      Delete
  4. OMG! This is amazing! I'd date a guy who can write like Sarthak Ahuja! :D
    @@@@@

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice way to say that you'd want to date a lot of men, eh?

      Thank you :)

      Delete
  5. This article touched me, made me think about life again. How painful would it be too see a probably dumber and less handsome man of a boy entitle the first page of the newspaper all because of black, beautiful pricky but gelled hair. Oh your melancholy! XD now you know how bad this blog caught me XD ! @@@@@@ even the jalebi remind me of your invisible hair! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha. Jalebi hair! Now I'm trying to imagine the angle from which that would make a bald spot.

      Delete
  6. Baldies may be hard to find. If unsuccessful then date an engineer. Why? Because baldies maybe as cool as Dwayne Johnson. They might treat you as one of the options. But the indian engineers know how worthless they are. They'll be loyal to only you. #PersonalExperience
    If any of you girls in Delhi and unable to find a suitable engineer then you can contact me :p

    ReplyDelete
  7. And dude pls go and get yourself tested for diabetes. itni jalebi khaa ke pakka sugar level badh gaya hoga :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm da suga' daddy to da suga' babies, yeah.

      Delete
  8. Bhai jalebiyaan kam pad jaayengi. 😊😊 Amazing article. @@@@@@@@...........

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  9. @@@@@

    I don't understand why men like you are bent on increasing sexual competition for all in a country with such skewed sex ratio. :P
    Anyway, women may date anyone, for I date only one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oho, kya subtle tareeke se Ramit ne apni girlfriend hone ka mention kar diya. Subhan-allah! :D

      Delete
  10. hahahaha!!! i feel u bro!! lemme get out of the quad n find u a date!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ashwin here btw!! the Chandra-Shaker from K8!!

      Delete
  11. I laughed real hard and I read this 30 minutes before my university exam. The exam was all good but I kept chuckling in between while writing because the supervisor was bald and unmarried. 😂

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  12. Haha! I had never imagined there were so many benefits to dating a bald man! :D

    ReplyDelete

If you had 5 Jalebis, how many would you give me for writing this post?

None = You don't deserve any >:O
@ = Soggy and stale! :(
@@ = Stale! :|
@@@ = I'll need a samosa to digest this with! :P
@@@@ = Sweet and Crisp! :)
@@@@@ = I'm opening you a Halwai Shop! :D