Saturday, November 28, 2015

Vocabulary Builder - Part 1

While love-shove, tikke-shikke, paraunthe-sharaunthe are words, the latter half of which I understand add alliteration value, I do not even know what the second half of "gaali-galoch" means. I don't quite get how it adds to the aural aesthetics without rhyming and I wish I were genius enough to come up with semantics as experimental as this. This makes me think how there may be a lot of such colloquial words that may be difficult to define. As Khan Academy would not allow me to put up a course on such literature and build on my community engagement profile for an MBA application, I thought why not test a pilot right here and in the process, build a revolutionary vocabulary building curriculum for Teach For India (I've heard two years at TFI really help you get in the Ivy League). So here’s the first part of MLIJ’s Vocabulary Builder.

Jhand (noun): a state of embarrassment or epic-fail especially on committing a faux pas.
Synonyms: katta  

1. Abey, yeh itna bada gadha hai. Waiter ne finger bowl diya, aur yeh Manager ko complaint kar aaya ke nimbu paani garam hai. Jhand hai saale ki.
2. Ramesh Red Wine taste karke bola, "Kaanji mein khataas thodi kamm hai". Bilkul jhand kara di party mein.
3. Jhandu aadmi! It's called corn flakes. Chiwda-chiwda kya laga rakha hai?

Tantey (verb) (singular: tanta): acts that tantamount to annoying and dramatic behavior, often recognized in the form of unreasonable demands.
Synonyms: dramey, naatak, pantiyaan

1. Mere pati ke ajeeb tantey hain, yaar. Main suhaag raat pe doodh leke gayi, kehta Bournvita daal ke laao nahi toh main nahi piyunga.
2. Bhai, meri girlfriend ka roz naya tanta hai. Aaj kehti ke uski mom ko main mummy bulaaun. Abey yaar, abhi 8th class toh pass hone de. Yeh mummy-shammi bulaana toh shaadi ke baad ki baatein hain.
3. Maine Tommy ko do din Pedigree kya khila diya, yeh toh nawab ho gaya hai. Ab roti khaane se mana kar deta hai. Bhai, yeh sayi tantey hain. Ab kutte ka khaana mere khaane se zyada mehnga aayega!

Bhaav (noun): the importance you give someone in an attempt to impress.
Synonyms: ghaas daalna

1. Mera kutta mujhe bhow toh deta hai magar bhaav nahi deta.
2. Yaar, main uski saari facebook photos like karta hoon, aur woh hai ke mujhe bhaav hi nahi deti.
3. Abey, isko ma'am ne class monitor kya bana diya, bhaav toh aise kha rahi hai jaise Miss India jeet gayi.

Chant (adjective): very shrewd.
Synonyms: chaalu

1. Kejriwal bada chant hai. Swachh Dilli app khol ke apni biwi ko de diya selfie lene ke liye. MCD wale uski biwi ko malba samajh ke uttha le gaye.
2. Humaari class teacher badi chant hai. Kehti kal surprise test legi 1st chapter ka. Jab saare padh ke aa gaye toh test nahi liya. Faltu mein padhai karwa di.
3. Yaar, mera maalik bada chant hai. Do din Pedigree khila ke khush kar diya. Ab saala mujhe roti deta hai aur khud mere Pedigree kha jaata hai. Phir jaake kehta hai ke main tantey karta hoon!

Kalesh (noun): a state of unrest and continuous problems.
Synonyms: kaand, panga

1. Yaar, main tujhe keh raha hoon ke sooji wale gol-gappe de, tu bhains ki aankh, atte wale de ke kalesh macha raha hai.
2. Meri bahu ne aisa kalesh macha rakha hai ghar mein ke kal rajma ke saath roti bana di. Ab chawal iska pyo banaayega?
3. Smart phone kya le liya, ab har jagah charger ghumaane ka naya kalesh ho gaya hai.

Must thank Saigalster for her super idea of the Vocabulary Builder. Yeh bandi ke tantey bohot hain, message karne se pehle soch lena.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

An Interview with The Zine

Hello, Sat Sri Akalzz and Hi Huku Hi Huku Hi Hi!

So, the peeps at The 'Zine thought I was worthy of an interview (Ha!) and put forth a couple of questions for me to answer not a very long time ago. You'll have to visit their website here to read the whole dialogue, but here's an extract to get you interested. Such bait, much wow!

Why ‘My Life Is A Jalebi’?

The elders in my family, much like me, live in a delusional world where they believe themselves to be the funniest people to have ever walked this planet. Now, I have no idea about the kind of jokes they used to crack as teenagers, but going by what I have experienced so far, their best jokes are on the lines of “Arrey, aaj khaane mein Rajma banne hain! Raj ki maa: Rajma. Haha!”

Having grown up in a household with such brilliant talent in humor, the only description they’ve had for me while introducing me to never-before-seen and unheard of chachi/mami at family weddings is: “Bilkul jalebi ki tarah seedha hai yeh ladka.” I think that kind of stuck, and on the night when I was creating my blog, I thought I should call it “My Life is a Jalebi”, hoping that whenever a pretty lady would ask me about the significance of the title, I would tell her about how life is full of twists and turns, and more often than not, you may feel like you’re being fried in a big pan of oil (figuratively), but in the end, all this hardship will make you crisp and sweet to dig into. Imagine that being said in Hindi with a Shahrukh Khan head tilt.

Sadly though, no one asked me about the title in all these years and in the meanwhile, I grew up to realize that “sweet to dig into” is a crazy way to describe yourself without coming off as a creep.

What would your three sentences in the game ‘Two truths and a lie’ be?

1. I’ve danced to “Choli ke Peechhe Kya Hai” at the inter-college dance competition in every Delhi University college in 2010-11 - dressed in harem pants and a sequined dupatta.

2. I woke up one morning at IIM-Ahmedabad’s Girls’ Hostel with ten women sleeping on either side, and I had no idea about how that happened.

3. I once went to a National Conference on Banking Frauds as a Speaker, assuming that I had to address a gathering of law students, but was shocked to find that my audience comprised Professors of Finance, Auditors of a few Nationalized Banks, officers from the Reserve Bank and the Chief of Police for the Cyber Crime Department. I was so scared that I ran away from the venue, but returned while there was still time and conducted the session like a boss.

(The first one is false because “every” DU college did not organize a Dance Competition that year. I was there at most of the ones that did.)

To read the rest of the interview, please click here.