WhatsApp with Your Email?

I don’t know when or how in this world did people actually begin mistaking WhatsApp for email. I have no idea about if people in other professions have the same complaint, but as a Chartered Accountant, my greatest nemesis is a chimp with a smartphone in his hands and a dozen financial documents to scan and email to his CA. Till a year ago, my biggest concern was having to explain the difference between financial year and assessment year, but this latest addition tops Buzzfeed’s 101 Things That Get on Your CA’s Nerves.

Let me put this straight. If your CA asks you to send him some information on email, including scanned copies of certain documents, do not act smart by clicking photographs of the said documents using your phone camera and sending them to him on WhatsApp. Here are a few important points to remember.

• Your phone is smart but you are not 
• You do not take your HP flatbed scanner on a vacation to click selfies, so please do not assume that your 8 megapixel can do the job of the former
• Your CA knows the difference between WhatsApp and Email. He did not mean WhatsApp when he said Email. Also, for the newer generation of entrepreneurs, Snapchat ≠ Email.
• If your CA did not complain the time you sent him that document on WhatsApp, do not take his niceness for granted.
• Yes, the picture is frikkin' blurry and you are not being considerate by asking me if it’s legible or you should send it again.

To give you some insight to how much effort it takes to sort the documentation you send on WhatsApp:

1. Receive constant images of pages from passbooks, Form 16’s, tax challans
2. Curse the sender for being such a twat
3. Wait for pictures to download
4. Go to Gallery
5. Fish through a dozen dick pics, selfies, screenshots and forwards to find your documents
6. Switch on Bluetooth/Email
7. Send them to the Computer using Bluetooth or Email (Y’know email? No? Thought so)
8. Download images on computer
9. Curse own miserable life of having to deal with over a dozen images of financial documents resting on the sender’s kambal/razaai.
10. Rotate each image one by one. ONE-BY-ONE!!
11. Crop and straighten each image one by one. ONE-BY-ONE!!
12. Brighten images and adjust contrast one by one. ONE-BY-ONE!!
13. Smack own face for photoshopping bank passbooks while the facebook profile pictures remain ugly.
14. Sort the page numbering
15. Convert them all to pdf
16. Combine them in one pdf file
17. Receive phone memory low message
18. Notice that the phone is full of photographs of client documents sent on WhatsApp
19. Clear all the crap
20. FU

I know that you may not have a scanner, because it’s okay how a lot of people don’t. But let’s try to look at the alternatives.

1. Does your office have a scanner? Yes? Well, FU then!
2. Do you have a smart phone on which you can download this app called CamScanner for free? Ah, you’ve heard of it too! Haha. Flying frig to you then!
3. Do you have a table near you, a floor, any flat surface other than your razaai that looks like it has greater curves than Sunny Leone? Yeah? Can you place your documents there and click a picture without shaking your hands like you’re jerking off to Tusshar Kapoor with a double-S from Mastizaade?
4. How many apps does your phone have that enable you to send these images? WhatsApp? Instagram? Email? Snapchat? And for sending your CA a bunch of financial documents, which can bring various tax and statutory implications, you use the app that you also use to send selfies to other miserable frigs that comprise your social circle?

Also, just what exactly do you use email for? Miserable matches from Shaadi dot com? Thought so. Well, thank you and FU.

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